Saturday, October 3, 2009

University of Florida Does Not Want You To Be Safe

Serious-minded webmasters at the University of Florida have removed a disaster recovery relief scenario from school websites. Apparently, like most managers, they can only predict what has already happened. In related news, Florida is full of mottled-skinned monsters, moaning about blue plate specials.

Sunday, August 2, 2009

The Vampire Thrill Is Gone, Which Is Zombastic

Romantic yearnings for submission to immortal, evil aristocrats done not make those myths supreme. This writer seems to think that zombies, because they aren't as dashing as vampires, are a lesser myth. Zombies are the right myth for our time because they elucidate the banality of our destruction and our experience of the objective world. The world doesn't care if you're a romantic, it's still going to eat your brain. However, I do love the term, 'zombastic.',8599,1914182,00.html

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Jane Austin's Characters Were Already Zombies

This post is in reaction to a review of Pride and Prejudice and Zombies. This writer describes Jane Austin's work as 'timeless' and 'serious' and, by contrast to the attitude of zombie enthusiasts, implies that it is sacred. In my opinion the only thing timeless about Jane Austin is the experience of reading her - the books never seem to end, nothing changes, nothing important happens. Zombies disrupt the limbo of the drawing room and take lovers of serious literature straight to hell. The rest of us enjoy a better story (for my money, the best way to improve on comedies of manners is not to read them. When I hear the name 'Merchant and Ivory,' I want to shoot an elephant.) Instead of bemoaning the introduction of the undead into the timeless, someone might want to ask why this was done and why zombies are so popular now.

Zombie stories, according to the writer of the review, are a 'fad.' I agree that zombies are quite fashionable these days, but there is more than caprice behind the rise of the zombie. Aren't Darcy and Bennett already zombies, milling about drawing rooms, moaning about manners? It's their worldview that's being killed in the rewrite to Pride and Prejudice.

Manners mean little when monsters are at the door, which they seem to be with increasing frequency these days. Anecdotally, more people have spoken to me about the satire of Austin, which came out in 2009, than about Austin's work, which was sealed, safe in it's drawing room, long before my birth. The world for which Austin's social criticisms were apt has long been in the crypt. Austin fans should be happy for it's reanimation. Before the rise of the zombies, critics were already calling for someone to let a little air into Austin's stuffy rooms. Now a fiend has burst through the wall.

Friday, July 17, 2009

Savage Chickens

Doug Savage draws cartoons on Post-Its, about a chicken who's a zombie neurologist!

Friday, July 10, 2009

Zombie Attacks Tokyo

This is an educational video about hard work and team work made by fooling children into thinking a zombie is attacking their apartment.

Zombies Exist!

This YouTube video highlights research in which a parasitic worm uses genetic manipulation to zombify and control its host. Neurologically, zombies exist. A zombie is one in a mental or neurological state who is not in control of his or her mental/neurological functions as he or she should be. Zombification can make you, proven by the infected cricket in the video, kill yourself.

You Are Your Brain's Zombie

If you hold your breath until you pass out, you are in control. Once you pass out, your brain takes over and breathing resumes. That 'you' you cannot control; your nonconscious/nonvolitionary brain is more primary than conscious you.

My Zombie, Myself

How can you tell if you're a zombie? Ultimately, you can't. William James wrote that the question of free will vs. determinism didn't make sense because we have to act as if our wills are free. So it is with zombiedom.

A little zombiedom shouldn't matter because you always find yourself in the middle of life, which no one has total control over. You don't think yourself up from nothing. The idea of being a zombie is only rigor-mortifying to those who are slaves to their moral/ethical 'certainties.'

What you can do to be less of a zombie is to have an active mind and question things. The cricket in the video can't ask itself if jumping in the pool is a suicidally stupid thing to do, but your mother may have asked you if Mr. Bad Influence jumped off a bridge, would you do it too. She was asking you to think, not to blindly obey or be influenced. If something has control of your brain, you have no choice. This is true of your own brain controlling your conscious mind, but it isn't true of all your beliefs/thoughts/decisions/actions.

It is, in part, up to you. Are you going to have an active mind or are you going to be a docile body?

Zombie Peeps

I want to give a shout out to all my zombie marshmallow peeps. They're so cute, even if undead. I hear the confections consortium is rebranding from Just Born to Unholy Child of Satan. By the by, the article is worth reading.